Dalek Calling by Kevin Cadwallender
As a busy working Dalek
conquering planet after planet
sometimes I neglect my skin care routine
which leads to metal fatigue
and telltale signs of ageing or rust as you call it.
I recommend brillo pads and battery acid
to exfoliate, you must exfoliate
use an angle grinder preferably
or a bastard file or rasp.
Moisturize you will need to moisturize
with diesel or crude oil
Then I can conquer my busy working day
and not worry about cowering alien life forms
commenting on those little oxidation blemishes
that can ruin a dalek’s confidence.
Brillo pads and battery acid
Because I’m worth it.
Illustration by Matt Ferguson, spotted in Novel Magazine.